The Future of the Church (and Volleyball)

Volleyball is the most amazing sport I have ever played. The better I got at it, the higher the level of play I was in, the more I loved it. It never lost its shine, as they say.

In the beginning, volleyball is about getting the ball over the net. Picture the 3 or 4 year old standing by the net trying to toss the ball over. Success!

My son, Ethan, at 10 years old, could finally serve the ball from behind the line and get it over the net. Success!

My first coaching gig at a small school, I taught girls who had never played the game. Ouch! Then, finally the ball would go over the net. Success!

In the beginning, volleyball is a lot like ping pong. The ball bounces all over the place until someone hopefully pushes it over the net (before the third hit).

After playing for awhile, something strange happens. The goal is no longer to simply hit the ball over the net. You are trained not to return the ball, at least, not until the third hit.

Bump, Set, Spike.


The better you are at volleyball, the more you rely on your team.
The more important who your teammates are.
The more important communication is.
The more important trust is.

It sounds a lot like church to me.

There are plenty of buildings that are called churches. There are plenty of groups of people that call themselves members of a church.

Some of them are focused on putting the ball over the net. They haven't learned to care for their teammates, to communicate and trust.

But, some places are different.

Church was designed by God to be a place for the love of God to be see-able, touch-able, taste-able.

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Like volleyball, the better you get at it, the more you will love it and value it. It will never lose its shine. Never.

Home church for us has been that kind of church. There is love.

Here's 3 ways you can tell you are part of a church:

1 - No Place to Hide

My 14 year old, Katie, said yesterday that she likes our home church, "You don't have to be perfect. You can just be yourself."

When you know everyone in church, there is no place to hide. When everyone in church fits in a home, life is intimate and shared. Everything is visible. You can either run away or be seen. You can't stay in the church without being known.

Being known, being loved, being accepted for who you are. Welcome to church.

Sin, too, is easy to see. So, we learn quickly not to try to hide it, but to confess it and look for support and guidance and grace. Confronting sin is a natural part of our own introspection and relationships with one another.

2 - Everything is Shared

It is easy to rejoice with those who rejoice and grieve with those who grieve because you know every single person from the infant to the eldest. The infant's first words or first steps to the oldest person learning a new hobby are celebrated together. Love lost and hope dashed are mourned together.

In church, you are not forgotten. Your pain is everyone's pain. Your victory is everyone's victory. Everything is shared.

Giving and generosity flow from the growing relationships. When one person or family has a need, the whole church feels it. And, the giving flows outside the church, too. As you feel God's love and see how he provides for you through the church, there is less anxiety about providing for yourself and hording what you have. You are free to give to any one as they have need.

The church frees you to love and share and give.

3 - Equality Among Members

All members are valuable. Not for what they have to offer the church, but for who they are as people created in God's image.

There is no place for politics in the church, no place for personal agendas, no place for power plays, no place for divisiveness or gossip. There are no winners or losers. No competition.

All people in the church are there because they choose to be and want to be a part of the church. Jesus lifted up the littlest child and told the adults to learn from her, to have faith like her. Paul told a young man, Timothy, to set an example for others in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Those who are older are asked to train those who are younger.

Everyone in the church is a gift to the church and can only fully blossom if they are fully engaged in and fully embraced by the church.

Relationships are the Key

The key to it all is our relationships with one another. It comes back to volleyball. The members of our church are important, communication is important and trust is important.

If you don't like the people in your church, can't communicate with them or don't trust them, then you are not part of a church. But you can be. God wants you to be.

Keep looking. Don't give up.

This is the only future for the church. The only way that will make the church relevant for this generation. There is no other plan. Be the church.

Change is Possible

I am not a fatalist. I do not believe that we cannot improve our lot here on earth. I believe that ultimately we will all fall short of the glory of God, the perfection of God, the holiness of God. But, I believe that people come and go and generations come and go that draw near to God I believe that God blesses those who draw near to Him with His presence and His power and His love and His grace which is poured out not only on those who believe but also on those around them.

Last night, Ethan had a rough go of it. After all of his explosions and name-calling, fighting and futility, mostly aimed at me, he came into our bedroom 45 minutes after his bed time and asked if I would read the Bible to him. He opened "randomly", by the grace of God, to the story about Josiah in 2 Kings 22. Ethan told me that he thought God wanted me to read it to him.

King Josiah became king when he was 8 years old. He was probably quite respected and treated well and taught many, many things, but he probably wasn’t given the responsibility to make tough decisions that might get people killed or make big changes in culture or society. He was just too young to be trusted with that.

But, when he was 26, he ordered that the temple be repaired. He wanted the money that had been collected at the temple to be spent to restore the temple. There was still a high priest. There was still prophets and followers of God, but there were also many other things going on. There was idol worship going around across the country. Even in the temple, other gods were worshiped. 

Who knows, maybe Josiah himself was guilty of worshiping these idols before he realized what God required of him. But, by the grace of God, he realized that the temple was important to his people, so he had them begin to restore it.

While the work was being done, the high priest found a scroll with the Book of the Law of Moses written on it and sent it to King Josiah. When he heard the words of the law, he tore his robes in misery and humbled himself before God. He repented.

God saw his repentance. He knew his heart. And, God promised that he would not send disaster on his people during King Josiah’s reign. He would relent. The disaster would wait until his sons ruled and did evil in the sight of God. But, not during King Josiah’s reign. Not on his watch.

King Josiah was contrite in his spirit and in his actions. He changed. And, he began a radical change throughout his people. Out of love for God. Out of love for himself. Out of love for his people.

He took action. He removed all of the articles of worship from the Temple that were used in sacrifices to these false gods. All across the countryside, he tore down altars to other gods that are not gods at all.

Ultimately, we are all in need of God’s grace and forgiveness. And, ultimately, we cannot overcome the sin of this world because we cannot overcome even the sin within our own hearts. But, ultimately, Jesus’ death on the cross did overcome the sin of the world. And, ultimately, we can live in that grace, and we can be the one who makes a change that changes the world for the better.

Repent and make a change in obedience to Christ. Every step of obedience has eternal rewards. And, if you are in Christ, forgiven by him, every sin is washed away. Separated as far as the East is from the West.

The Blessing of Anna Rachel Zirilli

The Blessing:

"Anna Rachel Zirilli, you are our daughter, whom we love; with you we are well pleased. You are no longer a little girl. You are now a woman. You are well equipped with everything you need to fulfill your calling as a woman of God," so ended a ceremony of blessing our 16 year old daughter in the company of family and friends, and some of the women who have been a blessing to her over the years. many of these women took the opportunity to speak and bless her. We collected their words in a scrapbook. And, we put together a word art collage incorporating some of those words, framed it and gave it to her as a reminder of who she is.

Word Art blessing given to Anna

 

My sixteen year old daughter is amazing. We love her. We looked at her and realized that somewhere along the way these past sixteen years she stopped needing her diapers changed, stopped needing us to cut up her meat, and stopped sticking car keys in electric sockets. And today, my wife will bring her to go get her driver's permit. She is no longer a child, but a woman.

We knew that we wanted to celebrate this with her, and so we dreamed up a way to do just that. For the past month we have been secretly contacting old teachers, family and other acquaintances who have had a part in Anna's life inviting them to participate in a blessing ceremony. Here is the blessing I read over her at the end of the ceremony:

"Anna Rachel Zirilli, you are our daughter, whom we love; with you we are well pleased. You are no longer a little girl. You are now a woman. You are well equipped with everything you need to fulfill your calling as a woman of God.

Before the foundation of the earth, God Almighty planned for your life and planned for you to be a woman. He knew this day would come. Psalm 139 says that He created your inmost being. He knit you together in your mother's womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. All the days ordained for you were written by God even before you were born. There is nothing that you will ever need to do to become a woman, because God has already made you one.

Today, we are simply recognizing publicly the work that God has already completed in you. Anna, you have heard what we think of you today. We see in you honesty, integrity, love, strength, grace, humility, power, weakness, intelligence, wisdom beyond your years, self-control, spiritual sensitivity and spiritual hunger, frugalness, compassion, a love for your Lord and Savior, and a desire to share that love with others. God has made you intelligent—you have a strong mind. God has made you beautiful. We've also noticed since the time you were a little girl that our Lord has given you a great ability to understand right and wrong, good and evil. You get along with everyone and are well-respected and well thought of by others, young and old alike. You are a leader and have used your leadership skills to make wise decisions concerning your friends and in many other areas of your life. We are filled with joy that God has given you to our family. You are a gift. You are a wonderful daughter

We love you and we bless you with all that God has for you. You are His and have been set apart from the world for his Holy purposes. We bless you with God's everlasting love, wisdom, peace, and joy. We bless you with sexual purity and if the Lord wills, marital fidelity and children of your own.

Would you gather around Anna, lay your hands on her as we pray together.

“The Lord bless you, and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace."'

Lord, we are here today because we love Anna. We want her to know that we can see the work that you have done in her life in making her a woman. We commit her to you and we trust You to continue the work that you have begun in her. Make her into the masterpiece that you have designed her to be and You alone can create in her. We thank you for her. In Jesus’ name, Amen."

“Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life!”

It was an amazing day! Hopefully, one that Anna will never forget.

This blessing ceremony was our way of giving Anna a milestone to mark her passage from childhood to adulthood. We don't ever want her to believe that she needs something in order to become a woman. We don't want her to need a relationship, a job, a calling from God, a degree, or any measure of success in order to feel like she has become a woman.

We want her to know that she is a woman because God has created her to be just that. She doesn't have to prove it or earn it. She is.

Whether you have a child who needs to hear this or whether you just needed this reminder yourself, make sure you believe it. There is no greater waste of time than pursuing something that you already have. Finding it comes in resting and trusting in God, not in the endless pursuit.

"Meaningless. meaningless, everything is meaningless, a chase after the wind!"

Maybe today you need to look in the mirror or in the eyes of your teen and speak these words of truth.

You are a child of God. You are loved beyond all measure. You are an adult who doesn't have anything to prove. You are valuable because you are valuable to God. You are important because you are important to God. You are special, you are successful, you are all that God wants you to be. Surrender your great expectations.

Let God's opinion of you trump your own.

He's a much better judge than you or I.

(Here is the basic outline of the Blessing Ceremony that we used.

And, this is the intro and explanation that we prepared:

We believe that there is one God and Father over all and in all and through all. We believe that there is one Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, through whom all people can be saved. And, we believe in the Holy Spirit who indwells all those who believe to convict, encourage and comfort them. We believe that Anna, based on your confession of faith, we believe that you are His. We believe He chose you to be our daughter and that He chose us to be your family and friends. We believe that He has your life preordained according to His abundant grace and plan for your life.

When you were still in Mommy’s belly, there was a time that we committed you to His care. You were, then, as you are now, very active. Since you were our first child, we were a little scared when we would see your heal or elbow push out and travel across the front of her belly, jutting out. And, then one day, you were quiet. You didn’t move for about 24 hours and here you sit, nothing wrong, but at that moment we weren’t sure what was going on. You probably just needed a long nap from all those gymnastics.

We climbed into bed that night and mommy turned to me and said that you hadn’t moved that day. I said, “Oh,” and preceded to go to sleep. She said, “The baby hasn’t moved all day.” “Oh! Are you worried that something’s wrong?” “I don’t know.” For those of you who don’t speak woman, that means, “Yes.” And, for once, I understood it. So, we prayed together.

As we prayed, God spoke to us. We felt like He was telling us that we were powerless. That we would have to trust him. That we couldn’t keep this little baby of ours alive, keep her heart beating, keep her lungs breathing, protect her from every disease and every evil even if we made it our only goal in life. We were powerless. This was sobering and our tears flowed onto our pillows.

But, He didn’t leave us there. He told us that he was able to protect and guide and hold our baby every single day of her life. And, that whether she died in Rachel’s womb that day or lived a hundred years, that He could hold her for eternity. He told us to trust him, to trust you to His care. And, we did. We didn’t have a promise that night that you would be ok. But, we had a promise that God was responsible for you and would care for you. That he was trustworthy.

We have clung to that promise every day until this one for each of our children. Today we want to celebrate Anna becoming a young woman. It is in conjunction with her sixteenth birthday, but it is not really about a number of years or a day of the year.

We want to celebrate what God has done and is doing in Anna’s life. He has guided her each day and he has made her a woman. She has graciously received His blessings and desired His leading in her life. We don’t know when it happened exactly, but we chose today to recognize that it has.

Anna Rachel Zirilli, today we acknowledge that you are a woman, a woman of God, and we who are gathered here today, will continue to love you and help you find your way on this next phase of your journey.

Some of you here have written something to Anna for this occasion and have come prepared to read it to her. Please do that now.)