Losing Faith: The Best Thing that Could Have Happened to Me

Going to College

When I left high school, I was a leader in my church youth group. I had brought people to youth group with me. Our youth group leader had led some of them to Christ, and I was confident in my faith.

I arrived at college a couple of weeks early to try out for the soccer team, so the place was pretty much deserted. Parties were held every night, but alcohol wasn't appealing to me, so I spent a lot of time alone.

Current research out of the Fuller Youth Institute suggests that the first two weeks of college are crucial for students. Most students will fall into some temptation or other, but how they deal with it, who they talk to about it and how much they dwell on it can set the tone for the rest of their time away from home.

After classes started for real, I wanted to make some friends, but I felt completely out of my element. So I decided to go out partying with a friend from high school. I still didn't drink, but I didn't know what else to do, so I went along and became the designated driver.

One time, there were eight or nine of us heading to a party. So, my friend from high school hopped in the trunk and rode to the party.

That was the most memorable thing that happened that night. The party was boring. I played quarters, a drinking game, but I drank shots of Sprite. It was stupid. The atmosphere was bizarre and kind of surreal. I felt totally out of place and had no desire to do what it took to feel "in place".

At the next party, I found myself wandering around on the street outside a frat house. They had supposedly spiked the punch with pure grain alcohol that wouldn't leave any alcohol taste. They had two flavors and kept serving my friends grape instead of cherry. They figured that the alcohol was only being served to the frat guys and the girls because none of my friends were getting drunk. So, I offered to get a cup, assuming that I could taste the alcohol or more quickly feel the effects of it since I was a non-drinker.

I couldn't taste anything and didn't feel a buzz. I told them they were probably being pranked and went outside to walk around.

I found another non-drinker, Antoine, who was also looking to make friends.

We ate some donuts, began talking and stopped going to parties.We had found what we were looking for. We made another friend, Pete and eventually we all became suite mates.

Pete and I found a church and joined a couple of Christian clubs on campus. I felt confident that I had survived the transition to college without losing my faith.

House of Faith

I like to use the analogy of a house when I talk about faith. It takes time to build. We each build our homes differently based on lots of variables from life experience to personality to circumstances.

And a house has three important aspects: the foundation, the structure and the décor.

I was sure that I had a firm foundation. Unfortunately, I was inexperienced and had little understanding of my faith. So, I began to build out instead of up.

Like an untrained builder, I was building my house away from the foundation. It hung off the edges and was supported by my intellect, personality, wit and logic. I was trusting in the wrong things. I was trusting largely in myself and my ability to understand and interpret the teaching of others. I became the judge of what was right and wrong.

(I looked for a picture on the internet of a house built hanging out away from a solid foundation, but there aren't any. I guess that's because no one does that. Here's one interesting picture I found, though.)

http://favim.com/image/121394

I could explain my points and “win” some arguments.

Then I had the talk (which I mentioned in an earlier blog, click here) with my father, an ongoing conversation that lasted for a whole summer.

That conversation shook my house of faith. It washed away all of the things that had no foundation and damaged the structural integrity of those things that did. I wasn’t sure what I could trust, what was real.

I learned to trust my intellect from my Dad. And my intellect and his intellect led us to different places.

I felt paralyzed by fear. I was afraid to think that I had been wrong. I was afraid to think that I had wasted so much of my life and energy on lies.

In time, I discovered that my foundation was unshaken, undamaged. I still believed in Christ. I still had a relationship with Christ. And, that was the realization I needed in order to have the courage to keep going. I tore down the rest of the house and started over.

I began to rebuild my house of faith. I read the Bible through from beginning to end. I started paying closer attention to what I was being taught. I checked things with Scripture. I had not learned the difference between exegesis, drawing conclusions out from the Scripture, and eisegesis, reading one’s ideas into the Bible, (e.g. drawing conclusions and then finding Scripture to support it). So, I still was making lots of assumptions, but I was sticking closer to my foundational beliefs.

Losing Faith, Again

So, my second house of faith was more carefully built.

In seminary, post-graduate training for a life as a pastor, I found myself in another storm. Even after what I had been through the first time, I wasn't ready for this.

I knew that my professors were incredibly intelligent. I believed that they loved Christ. And yet, they were telling me that many of the things I had been taught in church and Sunday School were untrue.

They taught me to study the Bible as literature. They taught me new ways of understanding the inerrancy and inspiration of Scripture. They taught me to question everything that I had learned up to that point.

I realized that so much of what I believed was based on other people’s opinions and interpretations of the Scripture rather than a prayerful, careful study of them. In seminary, I learned that there are many different ways to interpret the Bible and each way was inadequate to grasp the richness and wonder and glory of God.

They taught me to stop striving for the right answers and start striving for honest answers.

I learned to say, "That's not really clear from Scripture. There are different views on that. My best understanding is..."

God is an Ocean

To use a different analogy, as a teen, I was taught about the ocean, that is God, and thought that I had grasped it. I was taught about its vastness and its power. I was taught how to understand it.

After my conversation with my Dad, I began to visit the ocean, to feel the breezes, smell the salt filled air, and put my feet in the wet sand. I met artists on the beach painting seascapes and eventually I even started trying to capture it for myself.

In seminary, I learned to swim. I gave up the hope of ever capturing the ocean with my ideas or pictures, and I embraced its greatness and enjoyed exploring its beauty. I let it wash over me and envelop me.

The ocean is powerful. Most days, I stay close to the shore afraid of what the deep waters might bring. But, some days I feel brave, I trust God a little more, and I lose sight of the land for a little while. I like those days... when all there is is God. (Writing about it now is making me long for it. I need to plan my next trip.)

Katie frolicking in Washington, on the Pacific Coast

So, with the help of my professors, I tore down my house of faith again. This time, I knew the foundation was good. I even kept some of the weight bearing walls. My relationship with Christ was strong. It had stood the test of time.

And, then, over three years, they taught me how to build. I was free to build and shape my house however I wanted. Each paper I wrote, each discussion in class, and each personal encounter about some theological concept or practical ministry decision was an opportunity for them to show me the strength and weakness of my construction.

They taught me to know the limitations of my understanding and my theology, to hold my ideas with humility and grace. They helped me to see how my personality, experiences, and upbringing led me to certain beliefs. Others with different backgrounds were led in other ways.

My way wasn’t the right way and the other way wrong. Each had its strengths and weaknesses. Each was incomplete. But, they both provided shelter, security and a way to understand the world around us.

After having my house torn down twice already, I was afraid to build anything. They helped me get over my fear of saying, “I believe…” this or that. To begin construction again. But, they also helped me to engage with other beliefs without fear of losing my own faith.

After 21 years in ministry, my house of faith is still standing on the rock, the true foundation, Jesus Christ. I have moved some walls and definitely changed the décor, but

my faith is secure.

I appreciate the shelter that it provides, trusting God to hold me even if the walls fall again.

Our God is faithful. He will carry us through every trial. He only tears down our faith so that he can rebuild it again, stronger.

3 Relationships Parents Should Promote and Why

My 11 year old son, Ethan, was at pitching boot camp the other day preparing for the upcoming baseball season, and I overheard a pitching coach telling a young pitcher to keep his hands on his chest when preparing to deliver the ball. Sometimes pitchers, like this young man, raise their hands above their heads like the one in the picture as part of their wind up. He went on to explain that, back in the day, pitchers wore long sleeves and used this upward movement to get their long sleeves out of the way and give their arms full range of movement. Why do kids still do it today? Because that’s what they thought they were supposed to do.

As parents, what are we supposed to do?

What is our role in our children’s lives?

Too often, we just follow the example of those who raised us or, determined not to repeat their mistakes, we follow some other example. But do we really know why we do what we do?

The 3 Relationships Parents Should Promote for Their Children and Why:

1 - Be their Provider

As parents our primary role is to provide security and stability for our children. This includes lots of things including each of the layers of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs shown below. Of course, the top level, self-actualization, is up to them, but we can certainly help give them a strong foundation to build it upon.

As parents, we also make and enforce boundaries – some of which are important and good and others which are fear-based, overly constrictive, dangerously lax, obsolete or even just plain wrong. We are fallible and though we try our best, we often fail to set healthy boundaries for our children.

In a nut-shell, that is our primary role as parents. Daunting, isn’t it?

There is more. And, here is both an added responsibility and an added support system. We have the responsibility to introduce our children to other significant adults and provide an environment where they can development meaningful friendships. These relationships play different roles in our children’s lives, but they are both essential to their development.

2 - Help them Find Supportive Adults.

At about 7 years old, children start to see themselves as something more than just a member of their immediate family. They begin to let other people in and accept them as members of their inner circle of trust.

Adults that are not in the home can be in that inner circle. And this can provide tremendous support to parents. Significant adults in a child’s life can be grandparents, teachers, coaches, spiritual leaders, etc.

Ideally they will share the same primary values and beliefs. As the children see that adults they trust agree on the main things, they will feel more secure and confident about their core beliefs.

They will also begin to notice differences among their parents and these significant adults. Differences of opinion on certain behaviors like diet and exercise, political views, choice of entertainment, views on wealth and prosperity, ways of relating to others, and any number of other differences. These differences create space for the child to test their own individuality within the confines of the larger sense of security and well-being that the values and beliefs held by their role models provide.

They learn that they can grow up to be different and still be true to their core beliefs.

Even as toddlers, children need to test their boundaries and distinguish themselves as individuals. They long to be one of a kind! And, they are. Their uniqueness begins to take shape at a very early age. 

As agonizing as it is, our children need to say, “No!” when we tell them to eat their green beans or brush their teeth. This is a crucial step in forming their identity.

3 - Help them Develop Meaningful Friendships.

During adolescence, our children begin to identify with their peers and look to them for support and a sense of belonging. They long for the approval found in fulfilling others’ expectations. They still draw their security and stability from their family, but friends give them a sense of adventure and are will to take risks with them in their mutual search for identity.

These peers offer our children the courage to explore. All parents are wrong sometimes, our boundaries are too loose or too tight, our motivations are screwed up by our own insecurities and misplaced fears. At this age, our children want to know which of our boundaries are good and right, which are stupid and overbearing, and which are ones that they will choose for themselves.

In a sense, they want to figure out what boundaries they would set for themselves and try them on like a costume. The consequences of this can sometimes be harmful emotionally (like when our son or daughter gets their heart broken because they started dating too early), physically (like when they ride their bike over a homemade ramp that you told them wasn’t safe), spiritually (when they entrust their soul to someone who abuses their trust), or even fatally (when they participate in some life-threatening activity like cutting, car surfing, huffing, or any alcohol or drug use).

Faced with these realities, of course, as parents we want to protect our children. That’s what giving them security is all about.

Rather than trying to find a safe balance, a compromise or middle ground, we actually need to push both extremes, live in the tension. We need to let them express themselves, experiment with different boundaries, take risks and experience the consequences of their actions. And we need to protect them from themselves and their own lack of ability to evaluate risks.

Recent research on teenage brains confirms what we all have known, teenagers are bad at evaluating risks. They make dumb choices that can be disastrous. This research suggests that they actually do stop and evaluate the risk before doing something, but they are less afraid of the unknown than their adult counterparts.

This is vital for survival and thriving, since the adolescent has to face numerous unknowns in order to move out into the world and become an individual. But, it brings with it a limited ability to accurately gauge the risks involved in facing the unknown. 

Makes sense, doesn't it? Why else would teens be the most likely to start smoking, to begin having sex, to be converted to Christianity (or any religion)? Teens are less afraid of facing the unknown because so much of life is unknown to them.

We need to let them take all kinds of risks and reap the consequences good and bad. We also need to protect them from those risks that just aren’t worth it. We need to be that part of their brain that says, "No, not this time. That risk is just too great."

In the examples given before, maybe we say yes to the dating heartbreak but protect them from physical and sexual intimacy, maybe we allow them to scrape their knees on the bike ramp but move the ramp to the grass to prevent broken bones, and maybe we allow them to participate in other spiritual experiences and listen to and help them process their mixed reactions to them. And, definitely, we shield them from taking life-threatening risks all together.

Peers help our children to take appropriate risks, to press against the boundaries and find out where we have gone too far or been too lax. As much as possible we want to encourage these peer relationships with those who share similar core beliefs and values, but who they choose as friends is ultimately up to them. We can set appropriate boundaries to help them take risk in a controlled environment.

Throughout their lives, our children will be experiencing God and finding their own identity amidst a world that would gladly shape and morph them into its constantly changing image of enlightenment and happiness. These three interpersonal relationships provide a community of people to travel that road with them to act as guides, load bearers, travel companions, and comic relief.

The mutual dependence of these relationships cannot be over emphasized. In all three relationships (with parents, significant adults and peers), our children must perceive that they are responsible for their own thoughts, feelings, actions and the consequences of each and responsible to those with whom they are journeying. Each of us has times when we are the guide and others follow and when we are the load bearer carrying more than our share.

Our children need us to provide the basics and also to help them create mutually beneficial relationships that will support them along their life’s journey.

By the grace of God, we can do that.

How I Failed a Personality Test: 13 Truths that Change Everything

About 8 years ago, I took my first class for my doctorate and I took a personality test. It was unlike any test I have ever taken. It asked me deep questions like,  "Do you like nature magazines?" In school, I could do well on tests without studying and this one, I was instantly sure that studying wouldn't have helped one bit.

After the week of classes, I sat down with the professor to discuss the evaluation of my test. He said that I failed.

"I failed?

How do you fail a personality test?"

He told me that I either intentionally lied while answering the questions or I had no idea who I was or what I liked.

I knew I hadn't lied. But, I didn't like the sound of that other option.

"What does that mean?"

I had been living by a set of rules. I had been trying to be "Good" and had answered every question on that test trying to find the right answer.

Actually, in every situation in life, I was trying to give the right answer.

Then, something he taught us in the class started to make sense.

"Only when we place ourselves quietly and deliberately in front of God are the secret places in our hearts opened and the real motives of our behavior laid bare. Under this test, we discover the many ways in which we deceive ourselves: The pride, with which we imagine ourselves smarter, better looking, and more moral than others; the self-righteous motives, with which we think ourselves acting out of selfless love; the self-flattery, with which we convince ourselves that we actively live the Christian faith we hear about on Sunday mornings. In these ways and many others, we construct images of ourselves to cover up the reality we do not want to see."[1]

I had been living a lie.

And so the inward journey to find the truth began. I had to get alone with God. I was desperate to be with him. From this same article, I read,

"To be in God's presence alone is to be confronted by his gaze with nothing to hide behind."

"Yes, we will be hurt when we put ourselves alone into God's presence, but the hurt will be healed by mercy."

So, I pressed on.

Here are 13 truths that brought freedom:[2]

1 - You are responsible for all you do, think, feel and want (and don't do, don't think, don't feel and don't want.) Think about it... how often do we try to blame someone else for what we do, think, feel or want. It's a waste of energy. We can't even blame God or Satan. It's all on us. Accept responsibility. It is the only way forward, the only way to be free.

 

2 - You are responsible for the consequences of all your thoughts, feelings and actions. This follows. If I am responsible for what I do, think, feel and want, then I am responsible for however things shake out from there. It may feel like a lot of burden to bear, but it's true, so we either live in the truth or we pretend and live a lie.

3 - You do not have to offer excuses. Once we accept responsibility, we have no excuses. "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." - Matthew 5:37. What more can say? I did it. I own it. Yes, that was me. And, if necessary, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

4 - You are not responsible for the how others think, feel or act. They are responsible for themselves. If the first two feel like an added burden, this one is the payback. Some of us carry the weight of the world on our shoulders feeling responsible for other peoples' choices, actions and feelings. We think that if we had just done a little more or said a little less or... then this person wouldn't (fill in the blank). Realizing that we are not responsible for others thoughts, feelings or actions is a complete game changer. We are free!

5 - You have the right to change your mind. We sometimes feel like we have to stick with our decisions even when we realize that we made a bad choice. We are afraid to go back and try something different, so we lock ourselves in. Being responsible for our choices doesn't mean we can't go back and try to change them. It means the opposite. We are free to choose something different now.

6 - You have the right to make mistakes. We don't have to stop our lives, frozen in indecision, afraid to make a mistake. If we freeze up, that is a choice too, and it is guaranteed to be a mistake. We need to take a risk. We will make mistakes, and we will be responsibility for the consequences.

7 - You have the right to be wrong. Similarly, don't be afraid to be wrong. And, if someone tries to rub it in your face, just accept responsibility and move on. "You're right. I was wrong." Usually, you don't even have to apologize. It's just a fact of life.

8 - You have the right to say, "I don't know." Because sometimes it's true.

9 - When others do good things for you, you don't have to "give yourself up" to pay them back. Just because someone did you a favor, whether it's lending you a pencil or giving you a car, you don't owe them anything but love and respect (what we owe all people). We don't have to do something we don't want to do in order to pay someone back.

10 - You don't have to "give yourself up" to be loved by others. Same principle but in another situation. If we want to be loved by someone who is not loving us, whether a parent or significant other or anyone else, it is tempting to do and say things that aren't true to who we are. We want to morph ourselves into a mold that we think they will be more likely to love. This never ends well. Whether it is overworking to please a boss, entering into an abusive relationship, or working extra hard to be who our parents want us to be, we wind up losing our true selves.

11 - You have the right to be illogical in decision making. This was a tough one for me. We don't have to explain our reasons behind our thoughts, actions or feelings. There is nothing innately better about a logical argument than an illogical one. I want to... is enough. Anyone who cannot accept your decision is struggling to accept you.

12 - You have the right to say, "I don't understand." How else will we learn unless we are willing to admit that we don't understand? In relationships, being able to understand another person helps us to love them more. If you want to know someone better, these words are indispensable. If you just want to prove them wrong, these words can be reduced to the beginning of an argument.

13 - You have the right to say, "I don't care." It's almost never true. We care about almost everything. But, to the extent that other things are more important and this one doesn't rank up there as a major priority. Sometimes we just don't want to expend the energy to decide what we want. And, so it is fine to sometimes say, "I just don't care," because my love for you is more important than this.

As we can learn to live out these truths in our lives, we will grow to love and respect ourselves and others more each day. Grace and forgiveness follow love and respect. And, soon, we realize that we are on a journey and we can either share the road or try to beat everyone else, we can't do both. 

I hope one of these truths will help you move toward freedom today. Which one(s) do you find hard to believe? What would you add to this list?

---

[1] Clifford Williams, “When Mercy Hurts: Receiving God’s grace means facing the truth about ourselves,” Christianity Today (Feb. 1989): 17.

[2] Frank Green, “How to Be the Person You Want to Be: Learning to deal with some of life’s vital issues,” Wake Forest Baptist Church, Wake Forest, NC: 6.

The Blessing of Anna Rachel Zirilli

The Blessing:

"Anna Rachel Zirilli, you are our daughter, whom we love; with you we are well pleased. You are no longer a little girl. You are now a woman. You are well equipped with everything you need to fulfill your calling as a woman of God," so ended a ceremony of blessing our 16 year old daughter in the company of family and friends, and some of the women who have been a blessing to her over the years. many of these women took the opportunity to speak and bless her. We collected their words in a scrapbook. And, we put together a word art collage incorporating some of those words, framed it and gave it to her as a reminder of who she is.

Word Art blessing given to Anna

 

My sixteen year old daughter is amazing. We love her. We looked at her and realized that somewhere along the way these past sixteen years she stopped needing her diapers changed, stopped needing us to cut up her meat, and stopped sticking car keys in electric sockets. And today, my wife will bring her to go get her driver's permit. She is no longer a child, but a woman.

We knew that we wanted to celebrate this with her, and so we dreamed up a way to do just that. For the past month we have been secretly contacting old teachers, family and other acquaintances who have had a part in Anna's life inviting them to participate in a blessing ceremony. Here is the blessing I read over her at the end of the ceremony:

"Anna Rachel Zirilli, you are our daughter, whom we love; with you we are well pleased. You are no longer a little girl. You are now a woman. You are well equipped with everything you need to fulfill your calling as a woman of God.

Before the foundation of the earth, God Almighty planned for your life and planned for you to be a woman. He knew this day would come. Psalm 139 says that He created your inmost being. He knit you together in your mother's womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. All the days ordained for you were written by God even before you were born. There is nothing that you will ever need to do to become a woman, because God has already made you one.

Today, we are simply recognizing publicly the work that God has already completed in you. Anna, you have heard what we think of you today. We see in you honesty, integrity, love, strength, grace, humility, power, weakness, intelligence, wisdom beyond your years, self-control, spiritual sensitivity and spiritual hunger, frugalness, compassion, a love for your Lord and Savior, and a desire to share that love with others. God has made you intelligent—you have a strong mind. God has made you beautiful. We've also noticed since the time you were a little girl that our Lord has given you a great ability to understand right and wrong, good and evil. You get along with everyone and are well-respected and well thought of by others, young and old alike. You are a leader and have used your leadership skills to make wise decisions concerning your friends and in many other areas of your life. We are filled with joy that God has given you to our family. You are a gift. You are a wonderful daughter

We love you and we bless you with all that God has for you. You are His and have been set apart from the world for his Holy purposes. We bless you with God's everlasting love, wisdom, peace, and joy. We bless you with sexual purity and if the Lord wills, marital fidelity and children of your own.

Would you gather around Anna, lay your hands on her as we pray together.

“The Lord bless you, and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace."'

Lord, we are here today because we love Anna. We want her to know that we can see the work that you have done in her life in making her a woman. We commit her to you and we trust You to continue the work that you have begun in her. Make her into the masterpiece that you have designed her to be and You alone can create in her. We thank you for her. In Jesus’ name, Amen."

“Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life!”

It was an amazing day! Hopefully, one that Anna will never forget.

This blessing ceremony was our way of giving Anna a milestone to mark her passage from childhood to adulthood. We don't ever want her to believe that she needs something in order to become a woman. We don't want her to need a relationship, a job, a calling from God, a degree, or any measure of success in order to feel like she has become a woman.

We want her to know that she is a woman because God has created her to be just that. She doesn't have to prove it or earn it. She is.

Whether you have a child who needs to hear this or whether you just needed this reminder yourself, make sure you believe it. There is no greater waste of time than pursuing something that you already have. Finding it comes in resting and trusting in God, not in the endless pursuit.

"Meaningless. meaningless, everything is meaningless, a chase after the wind!"

Maybe today you need to look in the mirror or in the eyes of your teen and speak these words of truth.

You are a child of God. You are loved beyond all measure. You are an adult who doesn't have anything to prove. You are valuable because you are valuable to God. You are important because you are important to God. You are special, you are successful, you are all that God wants you to be. Surrender your great expectations.

Let God's opinion of you trump your own.

He's a much better judge than you or I.

(Here is the basic outline of the Blessing Ceremony that we used.

And, this is the intro and explanation that we prepared:

We believe that there is one God and Father over all and in all and through all. We believe that there is one Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, through whom all people can be saved. And, we believe in the Holy Spirit who indwells all those who believe to convict, encourage and comfort them. We believe that Anna, based on your confession of faith, we believe that you are His. We believe He chose you to be our daughter and that He chose us to be your family and friends. We believe that He has your life preordained according to His abundant grace and plan for your life.

When you were still in Mommy’s belly, there was a time that we committed you to His care. You were, then, as you are now, very active. Since you were our first child, we were a little scared when we would see your heal or elbow push out and travel across the front of her belly, jutting out. And, then one day, you were quiet. You didn’t move for about 24 hours and here you sit, nothing wrong, but at that moment we weren’t sure what was going on. You probably just needed a long nap from all those gymnastics.

We climbed into bed that night and mommy turned to me and said that you hadn’t moved that day. I said, “Oh,” and preceded to go to sleep. She said, “The baby hasn’t moved all day.” “Oh! Are you worried that something’s wrong?” “I don’t know.” For those of you who don’t speak woman, that means, “Yes.” And, for once, I understood it. So, we prayed together.

As we prayed, God spoke to us. We felt like He was telling us that we were powerless. That we would have to trust him. That we couldn’t keep this little baby of ours alive, keep her heart beating, keep her lungs breathing, protect her from every disease and every evil even if we made it our only goal in life. We were powerless. This was sobering and our tears flowed onto our pillows.

But, He didn’t leave us there. He told us that he was able to protect and guide and hold our baby every single day of her life. And, that whether she died in Rachel’s womb that day or lived a hundred years, that He could hold her for eternity. He told us to trust him, to trust you to His care. And, we did. We didn’t have a promise that night that you would be ok. But, we had a promise that God was responsible for you and would care for you. That he was trustworthy.

We have clung to that promise every day until this one for each of our children. Today we want to celebrate Anna becoming a young woman. It is in conjunction with her sixteenth birthday, but it is not really about a number of years or a day of the year.

We want to celebrate what God has done and is doing in Anna’s life. He has guided her each day and he has made her a woman. She has graciously received His blessings and desired His leading in her life. We don’t know when it happened exactly, but we chose today to recognize that it has.

Anna Rachel Zirilli, today we acknowledge that you are a woman, a woman of God, and we who are gathered here today, will continue to love you and help you find your way on this next phase of your journey.

Some of you here have written something to Anna for this occasion and have come prepared to read it to her. Please do that now.)