4 Chances to Win the Struggle with Sin

Proverbs 7 (This is the New Living Translation adapted by Dave Zirilli to make it read more like a story.)

⁷ I saw some naive young men,
    and one in particular who lacked common sense.
⁸ He was crossing the street near the house of a sinful woman,
    strolling down the path by her house.
⁹ It was at twilight, in the evening,
    as deep darkness fell.
¹⁰ The sinful woman approached him,
    seductively dressed, she had evil plans in her heart.
¹¹ (She was the brash, rebellious type,
    never content to stay at home and do what is right.
¹² She is there often, in the streets and markets,
    selling evil at every corner.)
¹³ She came up to the man, threw her arms around him and kissed him,
    and with a brazen look she said,
¹⁴ “I’ve just gone to church, given my offerings
    and fulfilled my vows to God.
¹⁵ You’re the one I was looking for!
    I came out to find you, and here you are!
¹⁶ Come see my bed! It is spread with beautiful blankets,
    with colored sheets of Egyptian linen.
¹⁷ I’ve perfumed my bed
    with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
¹⁸ Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning.
    Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses,
¹⁹ for my husband is not home.
    He’s away on a loooooooong trip.
²⁰ He has taken a wallet full of money with him
    and won’t return until later this month.”

²¹ So she seduced him with her pretty speech
    and tricked him with her flattery.
²² He followed her at once,
    like an ox going to the slaughter.
He was like an animal caught in a trap,
²³     awaiting the hunter that would come to kill him.
He was like unaware of the danger, like a bird flying into a snare,
    little knowing it would cost him his life.

²⁴ So listen to me, my sons,
    and pay attention to my words.
²⁵ Don’t let your hearts stray away toward her.
    Don’t wander down her wayward path.
²⁶ For she has been the ruin of many;
    many men have been her victims.
²⁷ Her house is the road to the grave.
    Her bedroom is the den of death.

Think about the progression.

1 -  First, this naive young man with no common sense is wandering around at night.

Remember HALT! Halt means STOP! It is also an acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. I will add Bored. When we feel these ways, we are most vulnerable to giving in to temptation.

Our FIRST chance to Win the Struggle with Sin: When we feel HALT, we should HALT! STOP! Go home and get refreshed. If we are hungry, eat; angry, process our anger; lonely, call or meet with someone who is an encouraging friend, family member or mentor; tired, rest; or bored, find something constructive and positive to do like helping someone in need.

2 - Then, he sees her and the way she is dressed and he lusts. Lust means to want something that you don’t have, and usually something that is bad for you. You don’t lust after a meal, you hunger for it. You may lust after dessert or after a person that you are not married to or after a fancy car or new video game. You can lust after someone’s power or fame. Usually, lust is selfish. It is wanting what I want and not caring about other people.

We do that, don’t we. We think about what we want, what we wish we had. We play it over and over in our minds and hearts. And our desire grows and grows. Then, we begin to think we need it, deserve it, can’t live without it.

Our SECOND chance to Win the Struggle with Sin: What happens in our minds and hearts is so important. That is why reading the Bible and praying is so helpful. When we read the Bible and talk to God in prayer, our desires get reoriented. God says that He will give us the desires of our hearts.

Proverbs 37:4 - Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Not only will God give us what we desire when you delight in the Lord, but He will also give us new desires, desires that are in line with what the Lord wants for us.

3 - Then, she speaks and invites him to take hold of what he was lusting after. This is key. The temptation comes from the outside, we can’t always control what temptations we face.

(Though many times we can! Avoid Las Vegas, avoid the internet, avoid commercials, avoid bars or nightclubs, avoid certain “friends”, etc. When we know where temptation will be, we can often avoid it.)

But, when we do have to face a temptation that is totally out of context from our thoughts, it is easier to stand strong in the face of that temptation. It stands out as an obvious temptation. It looks and feels like temptation.

If you never worry about money or think about getting rich, seeing someone's wallet on the ground or being given a chance to rob a bank are not really all that tempting. Stealing is wrong and we know it is wrong. So, we can more easily resist.

But, if we have been thinking about it, longing for it, wishing for it, then it presents itself…. "WOW! It really is possible." "I didn’t think I would ever get this chance. What luck!"

We might even think, “God must want me to have this! He gave me this opportunity!"

I have heard this from several Christian married people who were having affairs. They seem so convinced in their mind that God has brought this other person into their lives to rescue them from an unhappy marriage. From the outside it seems obvious that they are deceived or deceiving themselves, but to them nothing could change their minds. They cannot fathom turning away from God, so they bring God into their sin.

Notice in the Proverb, verse 14, the temptress even includes God in her seduction. She has presented her offerings at the temple and fulfilled her vows to God. 

We may think, "So she is right with God. She believes in God, too. She is faithful like me. God must have brought her into my life to help me."

Our THIRD chance to Win the Struggle with Sin: Reject this lie that we all have to face in one way or another: Sin will NOT satisfy our desires or bring us fulfillment.

God will never ask us to sin in order to follow Him.

4 – Then, he sins. We all sin. It happens. We feel guilty. We feel ashamed. We feel sneaky. We hope we can get away with it. And, maybe we begin to feel like we are defined by our sin. Like we are our sin. That we will always be sinful. We can’t control it. It controls us.

That is the battle.

That is the battle that Paul describes in Romans 7:13-25.

It is sin living in me, my sinful nature.

battling against my will, my desire to obey the Spirit of God.

We are fundamentally flawed. Foundationally, we are sinful. We cannot escape our sinfulness. Everything we touch is tainted with it.

It is like when we are soaking wet. Everything we touch gets wet; wherever we sit, we leave a mark; everyone we hug, gets wet.

Our FOURTH chance to Win the Struggle with Sin: Don't get stuck in the cycle of sin. (Sin - Guilt - Shame - Identify with Sin - REPEAT) Break the cycle with confession, repentance, and discipline.

We are not defined by our sins. We are defined by our relationship to Christ. The Holy Spirit is the sign given to remind us that we are God's children. He is the promise that one day we will be fully His.

We also have the Holy Spirit in us. Everything we touch, as Christians, is also touched by the Holy Spirit in us. Just like sin, the Holy Spirit infiltrates every conversation, every relationship, every thought and feeling. We cannot escape the influence of the Holy Spirit in and through our lives. We can try to ignore it. We can pretend it doesn't exist. But, there He is. Always with us. (Psalm 139:7-12)

The Battle of the Christian is Different:

The battle we face is much different than the battle of someone who doesn’t know Christ.

Romans 5:10 describes us as being enemies of God before we received salvation. The struggle we were in then, pitted our own will against God Himself. God desired what was best for us and yet we resisted Him at every turn.

But, as Christians, with the Holy Spirit living in us, the struggle has not stopped. We still struggle. Everyday, we make choices and form habits which guide and shape our lives. But, now our will is to do the will of God. Our deepest desire is to please God, to serve and obey Him.

But, there is a new enemy. Our enemy is sin. Sin through the law tries to bind us, to kill us, and to make us powerless.

That is the message of Romans 5-7.

We are dead to sin, so why would live in it any longer. Don't sin. Don't give any victory to sin. We have already been declared victorious over sin. Death is sin's greatest weapon and death has lost its sting. Christ has victory over death. So in Christ, we have victory over death and sin.

The tools that Proverbs offers to us in our battle with sin are the Bible (Proverbs 7:1-3), discipline (Proverbs 5:23) and wisdom (Proverbs 8).

We have the promise of ultimate victory in death. And, we have the tools to have daily victory through faithfully reading the Bible, developing healthy habits, and seeking after wisdom.

Use these 4 Chances to Win the Struggle with Sin.

1 - Know yourself and when you are vulnerable. HALT! before you are even tempted.

2 - Read the Bible and pray in order to allow God to change the desires of your heart.

3 - When faced with a temptation, reject the lie that sin will satisfy our desires and bring us fulfillment.

4 - After we sin, don't get caught in the cycle of sin. Repent and receive forgiveness.

The Death of Christianity

Christ's death was the most life changing, heaven and earth colliding moment of human history since the Creation of man.

Heaven and earth were close,
intermingled,
indistinguishable,
intertwined.
The fate of all humanity was transformed in an instant, in an eternity.

God, who is with us, who is for us, who is holding us, who is in us, died.

Everything changed,
for us.
God never changes,
for us.
Our reality will never be the same. A door was revealed, an open door. It had been there all the time, but we couldn't see it until God himself came and revealed it. All that happened before and everything that was to happen since made sense in a new way because of his death and resurrection and the new life that He offers to each of us every day.

There is hope for new life.
There is hope in Christ.
There is hope for us to live, really live.

There is hope for love and joy and peace and grace and mercy and forgiveness to be revealed through us, through the Holy Spirit in us reflecting the light that shone from heaven through the cross, through Christ.

There are so many barriers that hinder that light from shining. We talk about shining our light and sharing the Good News. Of all the barriers, there is one that has arguably done the most damage to the Church's ability to share Christ with those who don't know him.

Chris·tian·i·ty

noun \ˌkris-chē-ˈa-nə-tē

 

1: the religion derived from Jesus Christ, based on the Bible as sacred scripture, and professed by Eastern, Roman Catholic, and Protestant bodies

2: conformity to the Christian religion

3: the practice of Christianity

 

Being in the presence of the Almighty God has led some to fall on their faces, to shut up, to shine, to sing, to worship, to see, to dance, to live.

Christianity is designed by well-meaning people to draw others to God, to help people relate to God, and to give guidelines, provide a context for worshiping and serving God.

All of that sounds good and sounds helpful, but the one flaw is that it is designed by people.

Christianity is like a painting of Christ or a statue. It is a representation of Christ created by one for the benefit of another.

And, for as long as there has been a church, there have been those who have preferred enjoying the statue over knowing the Almighty God of the universe.

We tend to talk about different things. We either talk about the creators of the statue or we talk about the Creator of the Universe. "The founding pastor of our church was such a godly man. He was there when my son was sick. He was such a dynamic speaker, such a strong man."

We either talk about how the statue was carved out of a lump of stone or how our hearts were transformed from a heart of stone to a heart of flesh. "We started with just a few families and then started meeting at the lodge and finally bought our own property and built this beautiful church."

We either talk about how the statue makes us feel or how God makes us feel. "When I come to church, I feel so loved, so accepted. I never feel better than when the team leads us in singing."

When times are hard, we either look to the statue or we look to God. "Why didn't someone from the church call? The sermons just don't connect with me. The music team just sounds flat. The programs don't meet our family's needs. Maybe we should visit some other statues."

Christianity must die

The statue must fall. Christianity must be undone. We cannot let anything detract from God, not even our beloved religion.

The system is broken. It doesn't work. It has never worked. It is just what we do. We create systems to replace relationships. We know that something is important and we don't want it to get messed up, so we create a system to protect it, provide it, or pass it down.

It didn't work. It doesn't work. It never works.

Christianity can't protect Christ, can't provide Christ, and can't pass down Christ to future generations.

At best it can protect an idea, provide a doctrine and pass down a beautiful building. But, it isn't worth the sacrifice. We lose more than we gain.

The system robs us of relationships. The system replaces relationships with programs. The system replaces intimacy with bureaucracy.

The best hope for the message of Christ to move forward is for Christians, those who know and love God, to know and love those around them.

Christ describes it this way, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

 

Christianity must die, so that people are not distracted from Christ. The statue must be torn down, so that when people reject the model, they don't think that they are rejecting God.

We must trust. Trust Christ to not let the church die. Trust ourselves to keep loving God without having a structure to protect us. Trust our children to not lose faith and forget the God who loves them.

Let the Bible be our structure, not a building. Let the relationships that we have provide for us not the programs that we design. Let the presence of God in our lives pass on our faith to our children.

God died, but He is not dead.

Now it is time for Christianity to die. Death is not the end. It will be a new beginning.

Who Am I Apart from the Church that Misled Me?: My Search for Identity

I wasn’t brought up to believe anything in particular. My parents dropped me off at Sunday School. My guess is that they wanted me to be nice, to share, not steal things, and generally be a good kid, but they didn’t like any of the churches we visited, so they stayed home.

I remember having this old King James Bible with a wooden cover that was carved with an ornate cross. It had cool pictures in it that I perused at times, but I don't remember ever reading it.

I don’t remember my parents ever talking about their faith with us. But, I remember one time I said, “Jesus Christ!” as a curse word and my Dad got upset. I was shocked and really confused. 

"What did he care?"

I loved my family and always knew my role. I belonged. I was the cute one, the pest, the energetic one, the one who always wanted to play something, climb something, go somewhere. I wanted to be around people who were enjoying themselves.

After I started a relationship with Christ, I felt confused. I felt that I shouldn’t really fit in with my family any more. I was different.

Now I was a part of this group of Christians. I was one of them. I belonged there.

My Dad used to crack jokes and be sarcastic about my faith. So, I often felt on the defensive.

The church I was going to was evangelistic and I felt pressure to get my family saved. I was on a mission to introduce them to Jesus.

So I tried hard to change them, to fix them. I tried to bring up salvation whenever I could.

It became a weird dance between my Dad and me. I would try to steer the conversations toward Christ and Christianity and he would make wise cracks about not becoming a brainwashed Jesus freak. I don't think he ever said that, but that's what I heard. He was skeptical.

This went on from when I was 16 until I was in my second year of college.

I struggled with my identity. I knew that I didn’t fit in with my family, but they were my family.

And, I knew I fit in at church, so I poured myself more and more into being a part of that group. I prayed during prayer meetings, I played during youth group, I sang during worship services, and I listened when speakers spoke. I went to retreats. I hung out with my new friends. I read my Bible. I made commitments to do more, be more, and say more.

The Talk

Then, I had this talk with my Dad that changed everything.

I wanted to get him “saved” really bad. I had been going to these Evangelism Explosion classes. I knew all the tricks. I knew what to say and when. I had learned how to steer the conversation to spiritual things. I was ready.

But, I was still my Dad’s son. I still wanted his approval. I still loved him.

As I remember it, I came home from college and stayed up until he got home from work at about 1:30am or so.

Every nerve in my body was on edge. I had prayed and prayed that I would say the right thing, that it would go well. But there looking at my Dad, it became so hard to speak at all.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I told him that I loved him and that I knew he loved me. I told him that I wanted to share my faith with him and not have it be a point of contention between us.

He agreed. He told me that he wanted to help guide my faith but didn't really know how. We cried and we made a decision. We would meet every Monday night during the summer to discuss our faith. We would read Matthew together just to get things rolling but just let the conversation go wherever it would.

I don’t remember much from those talks, but I remember how they changed me.

After that summer, I was different.

My Dad and I did share our faith. And, we had a relationship built on mutual love and acceptance. We trusted one another.

And, I lost trust in my churches.

The First Lie

And, I was really shaken. I would say shaken in my faith, but it was deeper than that. I was shaken to my core. I didn't know who I was.

So much of what I had believed from what I had been taught at church was wrong. I had been told that Christians believe that the Bible was all true. I was told that Christians believe that Creation happened in seven days. I was told that Christians have a conservative political and social agenda. I was told a lot of things that just weren't true.

Evangelism Explosion helped me. It taught me that being a Christian, getting “saved”, was about Jesus dying on the cross for us, not about our views on abortion, the Pope, or politics.

After our summer together, I was sure about two things. I knew that my Dad was a Christian and I knew that I was a Christian.

I also knew that I had been believing lots of lies. I wasn’t sure what to do about that. I wasn’t sure how to move forward. I wasn't sure if I should stop believing, stop going to church, stop it all.

I have a vivid memory from my first days back at college.

It was late August, and I remember walking around the “brain” (the main drive on the Binghamton University campus which was appropriately shaped like a brain) desperately searching for God, for answers, for something that could make sense of my new reality.

What I really wanted to know, was...

“Who am I?”

I started singing a song that I had learned in youth group years earlier. It wasn’t my favorite song. And I am certainly not a good singer, but it was the only one I could think of and it brought me comfort. So, I kept singing the only line of that song that I could remember. It was the cry of my heart.

“Oh, Lord, You’re beautiful. Your face is all I seek.” (Here’s the full song if you are interested.)

I only remembered that one line, so I sang it over and over again.

I longed for some kind of settling in my soul.

Then, I began to feel it. I knew that Christ was real and that I was really His child. And, I knew that He would lead me and guide me.

I  knew that He was near and had not forgotten about me. I was not lost. I was just following a new road, so I had no way of knowing where it would lead. I would have to trust.

So, I stripped down (spiritually speaking, of course) and I walked back to my dorm. I left all those extra things that I had believed in a pile on the ground. I abandoned them. I left those and decided to build a new faith. The foundation of my faith shrunk considerably.

Here is the bottom line of what I realized:

I am a follower of Christ, a Christian, a child of God. I am not a follower of my church. I can disagree with them on any number of things and still decide to live together with them and grow spiritually with them.

I went back to the same churches that I felt had misled me.

I engaged with them more fully because I knew that they were doing their best to describe what they believed. And, I was responsible to do the same. I later became a pastor at one of those churches for 18 years.

The Second Lie

After 18 years of being a part of one church community, as their pastor, it has been strange, to say the least, to be apart from them.

For years, I was reminded what it meant to be a Christian. I was told about forgiveness and grace. I was told about walking with people through difficult times. I was told by numerous people how much they loved me and my family.

When my family was the one that needed support, I felt abandoned.

I felt lied to, again.

Half truths were told, gossip spread, and I was shunned. I was given no opportunity to speak to the church. No explanation was offered as to why, but my voice was silenced.

Again I asked myself, "Who am I? Am I defined by my weakness and sin or am I something more? Who am I?"

I struggled to find my bearings.

I went back to where it all started. Not the brain in Binghamton but to God. I went back to that place where I knew I belonged. I went to Christ.

Rachel and I went there together, day after day. Some days, it was all we could do. We sat at the feet of Jesus and asked him what was real. What lies had we believed this time?

Stripped again, spiritually speaking, I set aside the empty words of friendship and love. I set aside the meaningless promises and commitments. I set aside my own anger and frustration at not being heard. I left those false beliefs in a pile on the ground and began to walk home unburdened.

The first lie, I could chalk up to ignorance. The second lie, I realized was much darker. At times, people can choose ignorance. They can choose to reject truth. They can choose to believe what they want.

I chose forgiveness.

My identity has not changed.

The foundation of my faith hasn't even changed.

My identity is in Christ. I am His and He is mine.

(This time we didn't go back to the same church that lied to us. We started a new church, one that is defined by relationships rather than structures or programs or finances. It only exists as an extension of the relationships between those who attend. There is no building, no committees, no programs. We are the church.)