When Jesus Isn't Enough

Is Jesus enough?

If you were to sit in a church on a Sunday morning, thinking about Scripture, singing praise songs like All in All, Knowing You and Indescribable, you might know what the “right answer” is.

"Of Course Jesus is enough. What more could we need or want? With Jesus, all things are possible. Apart from him we can do nothing."

Is Jesus enough? "Yes."

Well, that would be an awfully short blog post, and because I have been wrestling with that question for days this week, I think there might be some more to say on the subject.

I know that he is enough. I have taught others that Jesus is enough. And, I believe that Jesus is enough. But this week, I didn’t feel like Jesus was enough. In fact, I could have easily named a few things that I longed for that at the time seemed more pressing than Jesus.

Nothing earth shattering happened this week. What happened to me this week was all quite normal, but I questioned one of the central tenets of my faith. Is Jesus really enough?

I was tired, but that is often true because I am out of shape. I felt guilty and un-everything good: unworthy, unlovable, unproductive, unloving. I was lonely and felt isolated from the ones I love. I started to wallow in all of these emotions while I was reading and praying and preparing for this week's sermon which started out being about fasting.

It was still about fasting, but the focus became quite clear. Is Jesus enough?

Do you know what I needed, (or maybe "wanted" is a better word for it)? I wanted someone to put their arm around me, rub my back and ask me what was wrong. I wanted someone to listen to me sort through my thoughts and tell me it was going to be OK. I wanted a physical person to sit with me and maybe read the Bible to me or give me some godly advice. I wanted a friend.

And this was a week that I had some good habits.  I took my own advice and spent the first 5 minutes out of bed on my knees in prayer each morning this week, and I read Scripture this week, and I listened to some songs of praise, and I took a walk yesterday to think and clear my head. But, in all of that, I still didn’t feel like Jesus was enough. I still wanted a person, a friend.

My feelings are not really what this post is about though. I have spent maybe too long talking about them. I wanted to talk about them though so that you could relate to what I am saying, so we could get past the easy answer of, “Yes, of course Jesus is enough.”

In theory, Christians all know, “Yes, Jesus is enough.” But, in practice, we all feel at times that, “No, Jesus is not enough.”

That is why when we are faced with a choice between sinning and choosing righteousness, we choose sin way too often. That is why when we are faced with challenging or sometimes tragic circumstances, we ask why and doubt God’s love or wisdom or compassion. That is why when we are faced with a difficult choice, we worry and fear that we might make the wrong choice and will then be headed in the wrong direction.

These are three times when we are faced with the question, “Is Jesus enough?” and often come to the conclusion that he very certainly is not. Sin, Circumstances and Choices:

When we sin, we proclaim that Jesus is not enough.

1.      With pride, Jesus gaining glory is not enough, we want some of that glory for ourselves.

2.      With lust, Jesus’ provision for us is not enough, we want something more for ourselves.

3.      With worry, Jesus’ Lordship is not enough, we want a better god, one that does what we want.

When we sin, it shows us our true belief. We answer the question, “Is Jesus enough?” with a resounding, “No. No, he is not enough. I need more.”

Circumstances in life might pull us to believe that Jesus is not enough:

When your child is in the hospital and you’re afraid.

When you’re hoping immigration will allow you to remain in the country.

When you are wondering if you are going to lose your job.

When your health problems are beyond the understanding of the doctors.

When you don’t know if you will have enough money to pay the rent.

OR, when you are feeling lonely and isolated and in need of a friend.

The circumstances are as varied as our lives, but the question is the same, “Is Jesus enough?” And, quite often, we answer, “No. No Jesus is not enough. I need one more thing. I need this circumstance to work out the way I want it to. Just one more thing, then Jesus will be enough.”

Choices:

Sometimes when we have a difficult or important choice ahead of us, we have that same question. We know that whatever we choose will redirect the course of our lives.

What college to go to or what career to pursue.

Who to marry or not marry.

Should I adopt or foster or not?

Do I move to this city or that?

Do we or don’t we? The choices could be much smaller than these of course, but the fear is the same, whatever choice I make, when I arrive on the other side of this, “Will Jesus be enough?” If I go the way I want and hopefully the way He wants me to, will Jesus be there with me and assuming He will, “Will Jesus be enough?” It’s so hard to know from this side of the choice. It sometimes feels like this choice is life or death. If I choose correctly, Jesus will be enough, but if I don’t, I’m really afraid that I will be miserable. I will have lost my chance.

Which brings us FINALLY to fasting and Scripture:

Matt 6:16-18

¹⁶ “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ¹⁷ But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, ¹⁸ so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

He will Reward you. This reward seems to be heavenly. It seems to be talking about something that we receive in the Kingdom of God. But, as we see throughout this Sermon on the Mount (Matthew chapters 5-7), the question the Sermon on the Mount is answering is how does the Kingdom of God look here on earth and how do those who are in the Kingdom of God act toward their neighbors.

So, though the reward is heavenly, it has earthly consequences. It effects us today. What we do in secret (like fasting), affects us and those around us in public.

A couple of chapters later in Matthew, Jesus is asked a question about fasting:

Matt 9:14-15

¹⁴ Then John’s disciples came and asked him, “How is it that we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?”
¹⁵ Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.

Fasting is described as an act of mourning when we have been separated from Christ.

This seems to be the key to fasting. When we are more keenly aware of our separation from Christ than we are aware of his presence and closeness to us, fasting can help us to reorient ourselves to Christ. He was with us, but now he is not. Fasting reminds us not to fear, because he will be with us again.

Fasting helps us in regards to the three things I brought up earlier: Sin, Circumstances and Choices. In regards to sin, it reminds us that our sinful desires and choices never deliver what they promise. They don’t bring us the peace and joy and love that we long for. In regards to circumstances, fasting reminds us not to worry and fear, but to trust and cling to Christ, that regardless of the outcome of the circumstances, our only peace and joy and love comes through Christ. In regards to choices that we have to make, fasting reminds us that Christ is guiding us even now, but even if we make the "wrong" choice, Christ will be with us on the other side of the choice. And, if Christ is with us, then we can answer the question, “Is Jesus Enough?” with a resounding, “Yes.”

One of the most important verses in my life is a quote of Jesus that Paul writes down in his letter to the Corinthians. This is Paul quoting something that Christ said to him:

2 Corinthians 12:⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

(But, Paul didn't show up in the Scriptures until after Christ was crucified. He never met Christ! And, everyone knows that Paul never met Christ, so he isn't trying to trick anyone. But, Paul did meet Christ spiritually speaking. And, Christ spoke to Paul, and Paul felt confident enough in his ability to know what Christ was saying to him, to quote him.

We, too, can "hear" from Christ. We can have the confidence that he is speaking to us and guiding us and encouraging us. For more on prayer and listening to God read this post.)

God's grace is sufficient for us. Christ is sufficient for us. He is enough.

But, sometimes it takes more than reading a blog post to believe that. Fasting may be God's way of answering the question, "Is Jesus enough?"

Choosing to fast is choosing to act in Faith. Even if sin or circumstances or a looming choice has us disoriented and wondering if Jesus is enough, we can choose to take the first step in faith. We may take this first step of fasting by faith with the prayer, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" like the father who wanted Jesus to help his son (Mark 9:24).

Fasting is choosing for a relatively short amount of time (1 day to 40 days, usually) to go without something that you might otherwise be tempted to think that you "Need!" It can be food all together, a type of food or drink. It can be an activity that you perform daily. It can be a type of entertainment or media.

For example, drinking coffee is often something people say they can't live without. Well, that happens to be a lie. And, fasting coffee for a week or month could help you move closer to Christ.

Others may check Facebook multiple times throughout the day and their actual dependence upon Christ might be more evident if they fasted from Facebook.

Maybe it's your cell phone, lunches, all food (check with your doctor to see if this is safe for you), reading certain types of books or magazines. Whatever it might be that fasting from it, might encourage you in your walk with Christ, and might remind you that Jesus is enough.

Fasting is an act of Faith and an act of Hope.

I am preventing myself from having this food or drink or media, in faith, though my faith is weak, I trust that God will somehow use this to strengthen my faith. It is also a hopeful action. Our Hope is in Christ that he will meet me here in this act. That this action will have eternal impact in my life and through me to impact this world. “Thy Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.” 

I need to Fast.

The "Routine" Procedure

The "Routine" Procedure

My 12 year old son had to go through a “routine” medical procedure a few months ago. I did okay getting him to the hospital. I did okay in the waiting room as we each read our books and watched old time Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck cartoons. I was feeling unsettled, but I could block that out with the tales about Coach Wooden and his dad. Then, we were called in and Ethan was given one of those hospital gowns. We told him which side was the front and how the breezy side was the back. And, that unsettled feeling I had been trying to ignore was rushing to the forefront. I hated this.

I wanted to be anywhere in the world but here. But, I had a choice. I could be somewhere else. But, I wanted to be here, here with my son to bring him comfort and peace and hope and confidence. So, there I sat or stood or paced and prayed and trusted and prayed and doubted and prayed and hoped. And this was a “routine” procedure. I cannot imagine living in a world where this was routine.

The anesthesiologist asked him if he wanted gas to relax him before she put the IV in to help rehydrate him. He shook his pale smiling head and said that he just couldn’t watch the needle go in, after that he’d be fine. She kept talking to him about how brave he was. He was brave. I wasn’t feeling brave.

I walked alongside him into the procedure room, praying and holding his hand until they put the tube in his mouth and started the real IV that knocked him out.

He was in the room for less than an hour when the doctor told us that everything was fine, maybe a little area of concern, but we could treat that with medicine if need be. They would let us know when the results came back from the tests they took.

Then, we sat watching him as he slept. And, I couldn’t help but feel completely helpless. The only thing I wanted in that moment was for my son to be okay, to wake up and be okay. The machines were all hooked up and every indication that modern medicine could offer told me he was okay and was going to be okay. But, my whole life was upside down.

I hated seeing him like that. I hated that helpless feeling, knowing that there was nothing I could do to fix this and make everything okay again. I could not protect him from this, and I could not speed his recovery. I could only wait and hope.

Even with the full confidence of science and medicine, my heart ached and my body followed. I felt like throwing up.

I bet most parents have felt that way about their children at one point or another. Hopeless and helpless. Even most of those without children can relate to seeing a loved one suffer, a parent, a sibling, or a friend.

Comparisons

If you compare your situation to mine, you might think I was overreacting.

I recently met a couple who lost their young son to cancer after a prolonged battle. I am sure they experienced every emotion and fear and doubt that I experienced in those few hours, but with greater intensity and prolonged over years instead of minutes. There was even a time when they thought he had won the fight and was in remission.

A woman from our church found out about her son’s death after he crashed his car on the way to the prom. I’m sure she experienced the same feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

Surely my situation doesn’t compare to theirs.

That is the thing. They don’t compare. My pain doesn’t compare with your pain. My life doesn’t compare to your life. My faith doesn’t compare to your faith. We are all gifted by God with different hopes, different dreams, different courage and different faith. Because we all face different suffering, different heartache, different pain, and different loss. There is no way to compare ourselves with one other. There is no objective standard, no measuring rod.

And, besides, if there was a measuring rod, we would all fall into the deception of thinking that our lives are worse than somebody else’s, that life is unfair, or that we are better than someone else because of how we have lived our lives compared to them. And, I think we all know how destructive that is. It leads to bigotry, hatred, condescension, insults, arrogance, and that awful feeling that we are all alone, isolated from everyone around us.

That leads to the death of compassion. We close our hearts to others because we feel that they have closed their hearts to us.

And, that is where our suffering and pain is meant to lead us. When we compare ourselves to one another it separates us, divides us into those that are like us and those that are not.

Us vs. Them.

Compassion

But, compassion draws us toward one another. When we see someone else in pain and are drawn by God to feel, to have empathy, we experience oneness and unity. We feel compassion for them and love for them. We feel what God feels when he sees our suffering.

As Mother's Day came and went, I could not help but ache for those who have lost children.

It is obvious that our new friends have experienced peace and grace and hope throughout the torture of walking with their son through cancer and grieving his death. It is clear that the struggle for life and the defeat of death was not the whole story. They spoke about their son with smiles and love and hope. Together we laughed and played and spoke of Christ's love. They have a peace and confidence that doesn’t make sense.

They have a peace and confidence that medical and scientific progress couldn’t give me as I looked into the colorless face and lifeless expression of my son lying on that hospital bed.

Strange.

Their peace brings me peace. Just like their struggle can’t be compared to my struggle. Their peace can’t be compared to my peace.

But, I can draw strength and hope from it. I can and I am.

They have gone through hell manifesting itself on earth. They have experienced the result of sin on this earth fulfilling its goal, leading to death.

They have also experienced heaven on earth. A oneness with God, a peace, a love that they attribute to Christ.

This reminds me of a verse from the Bible that I have memorized over the years.

Christ was using an illustration about branches needing to remain connected to the vine in order to have life when he said, “apart from me you can do nothing.”

When I live apart from Christ and apart from the people he gave me to love, I die. If you have ever felt so depressed that you didn’t think you could get up out of bed, you didn’t think you could take another step, you didn’t care whether you lived or died, you couldn’t eat and all you wanted to do was sleep, then you have experienced this verse to some extent. “Apart from [Christ] you can do nothing.”

If you have suffered through addiction and felt powerless to break from the chains that you feel, then you too have experienced the truth of this verse, "apart from [Christ] you can do nothing."

If you have ever faced a life controlled and confined by fear, anxiety and worry. If you have ever said, "No, I just can't do that," because you were afraid you might have a panic attack. If you have ever not done when you knew in your heart was the right, good and best thing to do because you were terrified what might happen. Then, you have experienced the reality of the verse, "apart from [Christ] you can do nothing."

The flip side of that verse is one that many of us teach even to our youngest children. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

If apart from Christ we can’t even go to work or stop from taking a smoke or walk into a crowded mall, it makes sense that whatever Christ gives us the strength to do, we can do.

Like I said, I wanted to be anywhere in the world except there with my wife watching my son go through that. But, Christ gave me the strength to do what I wanted to do even more, be there for him. As Rachel and I sat by his bed, Christ gave us strength and peace and hope and courage. Christ gave us love that overcame our fear. My heart said to run and hide and try to numb the pain I felt. But, Christ’s love gave me the courage to sit and wait and pray and hope.

I guess that is always our choice. Face the fear and the pain and the suffering of life with love or not. We can always choose to run and hide and numb the pain or stand and fight in our own strength of mind and will and body.

But, in the end, the only choice we have is whether or not to remain in Christ. “Apart from me you can do nothing.” OR “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

Live in strength. Live in Christ.

Live in peace. Live in Christ.

Live in love. Live in Christ.

Choose life. Choose Christ.

Then, we will have compassion and empathy for those around us. Then, we will be a bright light offering hope and a way to those around us.

Thank you Jesus for being our light, our way, our hope, our peace and our strength.

Dying Eyes: Lessons from a Death Bed

Looking into the eyes of someone who is dying changes a person.

Last week, I visited a woman that I have known for years and love. I asked her if she was afraid to die. "No, not really... Is that weird? I feel like I have done everything I needed to do. I have two great kids. I had a husband who loved me. What else is there to do?"

She seemed a little worried. "Do you think that's normal? Do you think it's the drugs?" She is on a morphine drip to help with the pain.

I tried to reassure her. I told her about my grandmother who passed away a decade ago now. I still remember visiting her in the hospital after a heart attack scare. And, I was worried about her. I asked her if she was ready to die. (Mind you, this was a couple of years before she actually did.) I'll never forget her words.

"Oh, yeah. I don't want to die. But, I am ready. I enjoy each day I have. But, I am ready. I have this peace about it."

And, I could see it on her face. She wasn't scared. She was prepared.

I saw that same peace in this woman's eyes.

My grandma and this woman are comfortable with who they are. They know that God loves them, Jesus died for them, and that they had lived their lives giving and receiving love.

There was no hiding or pretending, no need for superficiality. Their life had been lived and there was no need for lies. The truth was enough. They were dying and the best they could hope for was to enjoy each moment they had left. And, then, trust God with the rest.

I guess we could all learn to do that.

Time to Judge: a Biblical Perspective on Judging Others

There's a great song by the Byrds, "Turn! Turn! Turn!" based on a great poem in the Bible. Thanks to the Byrds, many people memorized part of the Bible without even knowing it, including me.

"A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep..."

A time to judge isn't mentioned, but maybe it should be.

We are surrounded by a culture that preaches tolerance. We are told not to judge others. We are told not to be prejudice.

The church is often accused of being the most intolerant and judgmental group.

There is a biblical precedent for us to follow. There is a balanced approach. There is hope.

First, I agree that as a people, we need to see ourselves as part of a group that includes not excludes others. The more we can embrace one another as one of "Us" and not push one another away as one of "Them" the more this world will witness the love of God penetrating into our society.

All not some. Impartiality not favoritism.

Though, we all make judgments all the time. It is a necessary social skill. We judge others based on appearance, based on their ability to communicate, based on our relationship to them, based on their position of perceived power.

It is right and good and helpful to judge in some ways. I will not begin to address the plethora of examples that exist when judging others is wrong. I will only address one general principal and then focus on how to judge others when we are given the responsibility to do so. 

A Biblical Perspective on Judging Others

If we see the Bible as a guide to teach us how to model our lives, then judging others is part of our responsibility. Part of our responsibility is to...

Judge others as an expression of God's love.

Let me say that again to let it sink in...

Judge others as an expression of God's love.

Here's the explanation and please let me know what you think in the comments. Let's work through this together.

Matthew 7:1-5- “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.

Jesus is pretty clear, "Do not judge so that you may not be judged."

But, then, he seems to suggest that we will all judge. "For with the judgment you make you will be judged."

In other words, He is expecting us to judge others and it is the way we judge others that we need to be concerned about.

"And the measure you give will be the measure you get", so we need to choose a measure that is appropriate for judging.

And, we need to "first take the log out of [our] own eye, and then [we] will see clearly to take the speck out of [our] neighbor’s eye."

So, we need to be humble. We need to examine ourselves and deal with our own sin. Then, still humbled, we can assist our neighbor with the speck of sin that is causing them pain and if left uncared for could cause them disease or loss of sight.

Humbly, out of concern for our neighbor, we can offer to help them by judging them in love.

Romans 2 faces the same question from another angle.

Romans 2:1-6 - Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things. You say, “We know that God’s judgment on those who do such things is in accordance with truth.” Do you imagine, whoever you are, that when you judge those who do such things and yet do them yourself, you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you despise the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience? Do you not realize that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? But by your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed. For he will repay according to each one’s deeds.

First, God judges "in accordance with the truth." End of story. He is the only one who knows the whole truth, everything.

We judge based on partial truth at best. At worst, we judge based on gossip and lies and manipulation.

Second, we, too will be judged. Again, this reminds us to be humble and use a measure that we would choose for our own judgment.

Third, we will be judged based on our deeds. We will be judged based on our actions, our words, our lives.

For those of you who are accustomed to the Gospel, salvation through faith by grace, this may seem contradictory. But, it is not. We will be judged based on our deeds and it will be found that

There is no one who is righteous, not even one; 
    there is no one who has understanding,
        there is no one who seeks God. - Romans 3:10-11

We all need grace and mercy. This is the measure that we must use when judging others.

This may lead us to decide: "Forget it! I am just not going to judge anyone ever!"

Judging Is Loving

1 Corinthians specifically addresses when we must judge. If we are to love, then we must judge. To not judge, is to not love.

1 Corinthians 5:9-13 - I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral persons— not at all meaning the immoral of this world, or the greedy and robbers, or idolaters, since you would then need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother or sister who is sexually immoral or greedy, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or robber. Do not even eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging those outside? Is it not those who are inside that you are to judge? God will judge those outside. “Drive out the wicked person from among you.”

We are not to avoid immoral people, in order to do so, we would have to "go out of the world." That would preclude us from bringing God's love to the world.

We are to avoid spending time with immoral people who "[bear] the name brother or sister", who claim to be followers of Christ.

We are not to judge "those outside".

We are only to judge those "inside". We are to "drive out the wicked person from among [us]."

This is key. We are not to judge the world, it's actions, it's laws, it's immorality, it's sin, it's customs, it's traditions, it's anything. We are not to judge.

What good would it do anyway?

If someone does not know Christ and is not thinking about Christ, why would he or she care what God thinks about their actions.

Ask them. They don't care.

The opportunity we have is to show them the love of Christ through our words and actions. We are to be Christ's ambassadors, to bring light to the darkness, be salt of the earth, fishers of men and women. Whatever picture works for you. That is our responsibility and privilege.

We are not to judge those in the world. We are to love them.

Now, about those who call themselves brother or sister.

We must judge them. Why?

God's judgment is always for the same purpose. Look back at Romans 2:4 - "Do you despise the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience? Do you not realize that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"

God's judgment and his kindness and his wrath and everything else that God does "is meant to lead [us] to repentance." When we judge others without love, without grace, without mercy, we are demonstrating that we despise his kindness.

We despise his kindness to us, forgetting how He has forgiven our sin.

We despise his kindness to others, forgetting that God's judgment is designed to lead them to repentance.

Matthew 18 concludes that if we attempt to address sin in the life of someone we love and are rejected, and then we bring a couple of elders and are rejected again, and then make the situation public to the whole church and still are rejected, then we are to treat the person as if they were an unbeliever.

In other words, if we humble ourselves, judge someone else in love, hoping to lead them to repentance for their benefit, and we do everything that the love of Christ compels us to do and they choose not to repent --- then we treat them as if they are not a brother or sister, not part of the church.

We treat them like they are of the world.

Which does not mean that we continue to judge them and condemn them and gossip about them.

It means that we no longer judge them. We stop judging them because we are not to judge those of this world.

It means that we love them with the love of Christ. It means that we go out of our way to show them God's love and kindness in hopes that it will lead them to repentance.

Judge others as an expression of God's love.

Judging others this way is obviously difficult and takes much love and time and commitment. It can only be done in relationship. Take heart. It can be done.

By the grace of God, it can be done.
Because this is the will of God, it can be done.

"There is a time to judge and time to withhold judgment."

How to Talk about the Boston Tragedy with Your Children

Here is a resource that we used after the 9/11/01 tragedy. I am not sure how much of it I wrote and how much I used from another source. So, I won't claim any of it as my own, but I hope it will help you talk about this and other tragedies with your children. I hope it will be an encouragement to you as parents try to talk to their children about the tragedy in Boston today:

Tuesday was a day that scarred our country and the images will scar our memories forever. There is no way to erase these memories from our minds or our children’s minds. Know that God is in control (Dan. 4:35, Is.44: 8,45:5,6,21, Pr.21:1) and He is the only one that can bring peace and security to us and our children. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Knowing that peace only comes from God, what can we as parents do to help our children and one another deal with this tragedy? Here are some suggestions that may help.

1-       Pray often. Pray before you discuss this with your children. Pray with your children about the tragedy. Pray for your children to be able to trust God through it. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

2-       Be calm. Show your children that this is a tragedy, but that your faith in God is still strong and you are not afraid. If you are afraid, explain what you are afraid of and why. Be specific.- DZ (1 John 4:18)

3-       Be completely truthful. You don’t have to tell your children everything, but everything you tell them must be completely true. Do not conjecture about the culprits or about survivors or the response of the country. Just speak of the truth as best you know it. (Ephesians 4:25) “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

4-       Be honest but explain to children only as much as they can handle.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen,” Toddlers will only know that something is wrong, but no details. 4-6 year olds may understand that there was a crash and that people are hurt, but they need not know about terrorism or hate or death. Older elementary students will hear more, but certainly try to keep them as much as possible from seeing the TV images, which may give them nightmares. Junior high students and less mature high school students will understand everything and want to see the images, but will not internalize it as much. They will need to talk about it and will focus on details and information. Mature junior high students and most senior high students will need to talk about the details and about how they are feeling. Here it is good to share some of your concerns and confusion and sadness and anger. They will be having similar feelings. Allow them to express these as much as they want. They may rather express them to peers or other trusted adults. That is ok. Don’t feel shut out or try to force them to open up to you. . We must guard our speech so that we don’t say anything negative or hateful even in jest or casually in conversation that might point blame to “Arabs”, “Muslims”, “politicians” or any group as a whole.

5-      Bring them to God. Whether your children are infants or adults, they need to know that when you are stressed, you turn to Christ for strength. Do this by modeling prayer for them, searching the Scriptures instead of watching TV. Allow them to see you receiving God’s grace and then share what God is revealing to you. Show them Scriptures concerning God’s control and His unending love. (Psalm 46 and Jeremiah 31:3)

6-        Teach them that God is not taken by surprise. Then, teach them that the consequences of sin are bad. (Romans 6:21,23 “21 What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”)

7-       Then teach them that if we never saw the consequences of sin until we died, we would be more drawn into it and would see only its pleasure. If they are old enough to understand teach them not to hate, teach them about the evil of racism.

8-       Older students will also want to know what they can do to help. Find out ways that they can actively participate in helping. Donating blood, donating money, praying, helping out a local family who has lost a loved one or even serving local firefighters, policemen, and EMS workers. Show them that the response to HATE is LOVE, not revenge.

May God bless you and your family as you recover and allow God to heal you and your children from this incredibly personal and national tragedy?

Trusting God with you.

Light from Darkness: The Resurrection Changed the Apostles' Lives and Can Change Ours as Well

Unlike my other posts: Today is my Easter message that I will preach in church today.

The story has to begin in darkness. That's what makes it so incredible, unbelievable. Not incredible like it was awesome and magnificent. I mean, un-believable, like they didn't believe it.

Let’s think about where the followers of Christ were before we think about the resurrection. They spent Friday night and all day Saturday without Christ.

Some of them had spent three years with him.

What was it like? What were they thinking? Feeling?

Well, some had scattered to different places, but I bet most of them were together. They were afraid of the Jewish leaders and what they might do to them now that they had killed Jesus. They assumed they each had a target on their back now that he was gone. So there was fear.

So, in their homes and without much fanfare, they gathered quietly trying not to draw attention to themselves and they grieved.

Have you ever grieved the loss of someone you loved, whether in death or even just as a child when you moved away and knew that you would never see your best friend again?

They probably went through times of talking, reminiscing. They might recount some of the great miracles that Jesus had done. “Remember when he healed that guy who was blind from birth! That was intense!” Or, “Remember that lady who was pushing through the crowd, touches his cloak and there he is surrounded by hundreds of people packed into that street and he says, ‘Who touched me?’ and we are all like, ‘Who touched you? Everyone touched you!’ He was incredible.”

But, I think they probably spent more time thinking about Jesus Himself.

Not what He did, but who He was, and how He made you feel when you were around Him. “He was so kind and so gentle.” Another would joke, “Except when he said to Peter, ‘Get behind me Satan!’ That was rough.” “But, you know, I never once doubted that He loved me. I just knew. I could feel it with my whole being, body and soul, all that I am. I never once doubted that he loved me and would do anything for me. He was just that kind of guy.” “I loved him.” And then, the chorus of “Me, too” probably rung out.

Remembering Jesus was remembering the intimacy and the love and the faithfulness and the kindness.

Like when we grieve today, the conversation was probably intermingled with times of silence, the tears intermingled with laughter, the great memories mingled with regrets.

“I wish we hadn’t run away. John tell us again what happened at the trial.” Peter would have probably got up and walked away at these moments, still carrying the shame of denying Christ, but unwilling or unable to confess it all to them. So, he would go for a walk. No one would suspect him if he did. They all needed some time alone.

At times, their hearts and the conversation would turn ugly. If you have ever suffered grief because of another’s sin, you know what I mean.

“I wish Judas was hung on that cross instead of Christ. I can’t believe he did that!” “I wish the whole Sanhedrin were on that cross. Bunch of hypocrites!” “What about that weasel Pilate! I hate him so much!” “If you had seen the way those guards struck and spit on him… it made me sick. It was like they were enjoying it. It was the worst thing I have ever seen.”

And then, maybe one of the women said, “But, His eyes.” And the room got quiet, really quiet. “What?”

“His eyes. As I looked into His eyes, even when they were striking Him, even at the very end, hanging there on the cross… There was no hate there. There was pain. There was grief even like He was going to miss being with us. There was even pity for the soldiers. But, no hate. There was love. The same as when he sat here with us, teaching or eating with us. Pure love. He was so amazing. I loved Him so much.”

And, the tears would flow again and the hate and rage would subside.

Hours of this. The women gathered together with the men just like when Jesus was with them.

Each one remembered Jesus’ love for them as a person… how he has touched their life personally.

Peter clung to his wife and remembered how Jesus had healed his mother-in-law. Mary Magdalene remembered how Jesus had saved her from such a horrible life. Mary, Jesus’ mother, remembered what it was like raising God from a boy.

Each one remembered when Jesus had called to them, those few words that changed everything, changed the course of their lives, “Follow me.”

It was as simple as that for many of them, but they couldn’t resist His call. They left everything and followed. How could they have done anything else. He was so loving, so amazing, his teaching was compelling, the truth was overwhelming, and the eyes.

How could they go on? They would never again be able to look into those eyes.

What would they do? Without Jesus to follow, where would they go? What does their life mean now? So much confusion and disappointment.

“You saw me! I was ready to die for him, to fight for him. I cut that guy’s ear off! I would have died right there in the garden and known that I had done the right thing. No regrets! But, now, what now? I’ve decided, I’m going back to the boats. I still have connections. I can get on a boat and I can fish. That’s what I’ll do. If any of you want to join me…”

“Well, I can’t go back to tax collecting. I don’t know what I’ll do. Maybe I’ll learn how to mend nets.”

“I was going to follow him to the palace, to war, to victory. I don’t know how to follow him now.”

“He changed me. I just know that I am different. I can’t go back. I have to go forward. But, I don’t know what that means. I just know that things are going to be different.”

“Well, ladies, I know what I am going to do. I am going to take the spices we bought and before the sun even rises tomorrow, I am going to the tomb and get somebody to roll back that stone, and I am going to give him a proper burial. The way they rushed to get him in there on Friday, it just isn’t right. The least we could do is bury him properly. It’s the least we could do.”

The Bible is clear that even though Jesus told them, even though the Scriptures foretold it, even though they believed in the resurrection of the dead, even though they had seen Lazarus and others raised from the dead…they didn’t believe. They couldn’t believe.

The light had gone out and they were plunged into darkness. Their world had caved in.

According to John’s telling, Mary went and seeing the empty tomb, she ran back to tell the others. She was convinced that someone had stolen his body.

After Peter and John had come and gone, there she sat, weeping. How could this happen. The one thing that she could do… The one plan that she had… to take care of the body of her Lord, was ruined. Someone defiled her Lord’s body, stole it.

She might have been thinking, “Is there no end to this misery? They beat him and tortured him, they mocked him and spit on him. They killed him! Couldn’t they just let us bury him in peace? Why would they take him? Where would they take him?”

As she wept, facing into the tomb, the sun low on the horizon behind her, someone came up from behind casting a shadow over her. She looked up, unable to recognize who it was, but she hoped it was someone who knew where they had taken the body. Who else would be here so early? Maybe the gardener.

John 20:¹⁵ He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

¹⁶ Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

At this point, she probably did what any of us would have done. She went to him. She kissed him. She hugged him. She clung to him. She held him so tight that she told herself that she would never again let go. She would never again let Him out of her grasp. Her love overflowed. It burst from her so naturally.

“He is real. He is here. He is mine. I will never let Him go again.”

And in verse 17, Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

With her world turned upside down once again, she probably couldn’t even put words to her racing thoughts, “Wait, what? No, you can’t go! Do you know what we’ve been through? The darkness…the despair…the pain…the hopelessness. You can’t leave now. You must come back with me. You must come and see everyone.” And, then he was gone.

Collecting herself, (she must have been quite a mess by this time), she ran. She ran to the disciples.

¹⁸ Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.

Are you like Mary Magdalene? Have you seen the Lord? Were you in darkness? And, now are you in the light? Well, don’t just stand there looking confused. Go tell someone. Go tell them of the overwhelming joy of seeing Your Lord.

He is risen!